Now that I am “home” in Damanhur after a 33 day journey, I reflect on the viaggio of the past month, beginning with bringing Damanhur School of Meditation teachings to Tamera in Portugal and concluding with a Burning Man Symposium held like an egg in a nest at Esalen in Big Sur, California. It’s so heartening to see those of us who carry and move within group identities connecting in with each other deeply and dissolving boundaries in these collaborative endeavors.
I have noticed that Damanhur facilitates transformation within people in a certain direction, and Tamera does so too on a different and unique trajectory. Holding the Damanhur Path to Spiritual Freedom course in Tamera brought the participants into a movement that ended up in a different place than either of those, a beautiful synergy of the gifts from each source, sparking joy, authenticity and liberation.
The same thing happened during the Burning Man Symposium at Esalen I feel. The unique alchemy of each container poured together to create softly exploding fireworks of pure magic that mixed the sound of the Pacific ocean waves crashing into the night with the smell of sulfur in the steam of the baths and the taste of miso soup and marinated kale, together with the roar of power tools and high caliber laughter, swigs of tequila, pink hair and building up something colorful and creative just to set it on fire immediately. Somehow it worked.
I notice that each community group and project seems to be asking similar questions, about evolving the engagement of global networks, facilitating a generational shift, defining or defending identity, sustainability in social organization, construction, food, energy, technology and money.
On a personal note, in these days of landing back in Damanhur, it’s the usual swirl of emotion all over the spectrum. There are tears and grief from diving into such concentrated connection with so many stellar beings resonating through my past, present and future storyline, and then… flying away from it all into a different time-space. Embraced by the happy familiarity of being back here. The light of the crystal on the fire altar at night, still blue. Walking the spirals and meeting the new Selfica paintings. Looking into the eyes of the children and the dogs. The greeting tree full of ripe persimmons. The deep rolling laughter around the nucleo dinner table and nourishment from organic farm vegetables grown with classical music and love.
My body is in confusion because of time zones and sleep cycles resetting, underneath the wakeful elation of having fallen in love – in this by now familiar way – not so much with a particular person or place, more like with the flowing aliveness of being in movement and all that it brings. I wake up at least 3 times a day then quickly realize that I can’t really accomplish anything or think, or if I can think it’s more dream-think than think-think. There is the strain of concentration while plugging back into practical tasks, the car insurance and tire pressure, the Popolo bracelet replaced, things to gift and receive, pay for and exchange. Catching up with what happened while I was away. Thoughts that range from “Oh thank the stars I am back here!” to “What on earth am I doing here?”
It all leaves me with the sensation that I have come back home even though I was always home all along… This song speaks to that, it showed up for me on a couple of different synchronic and heart-opening occasions, most recently while spinning in the middle of the night under the starlight, oceanside.
I was listening to the words of the song, gazing around at this sanctuary of a newly remodeled Esalen space which had just held so much dynamic encountering and bliss for three days, looking at the beautiful people milling about. And I got it. A message. One that said something like…
Stop. Stop wondering, and seeking, and striving. Home. It’s not about finding that one country, that one city, that one ecovillage, that one community, that one nucleo, that one house and deciding if it is built of earth sacks or whiskey barrel slats or straw bales and if so what percentage of clay to sand to water to make the stucco for the walls. It’s not about that one partner, that one lover, that one family, that one job, that one identity. It’s you. It’s here. It’s all around you. It’s everywhere and it’s all of them. It’s now. It’s what we are building. They built this place, for you, for all of us. And there are more. And we will keep building them, and meeting each other there, and breaking them down, and we will keep moving around. And sometimes someone might settle in somewhere. But that’s not the point. It’s about being aware of what we are creating together with the power of our imagination and sense of humor and love. Connecting things into each other and following the stream. Home is a flux not a point on a map.